Sometimes in life we need to run, fighting to survive the battles of ego and loneliness. Where even in our dreams we cannot find any peace that no one would ever be willing to offer. Sometimes it is all you can to do blink your so busy, with one commitment after another you forget to take care of yourself so then you get sick which makes nothing better. Maybe others its when your life is better alone in a corner than with your friends laughing and carefree in the center of the floor, interchangeably of course.
Jake is all i could ever ask for in a best friend. He is more loyal than my dog and even though i would never tell him to his face i trust him with absolutely everything and with him the knot in my chest eases. Seeing as i am a type A personality i sometimes forget to live and only stress- he is fixing that. The empty, dark mass that was inside my soul is now somehow vanishing as i was holding onto it the whole time and i am just now forgetting to hold on to that pain. Yet it is different than any relationship I've ever been in. I can breathe. Have time to be away and be myself knowing that he is thinking about me and i him. Codependent no more.
My friends, awe my friends!! As i change and develop i find my role model to be more like Katniss, hence me actually getting on and writing in my blog for the first time in three months. I keep thinking that the group will easily forget i exist when i leave for college. I don't like that.
COLLEGE!! My dear cousin Ginny, bless her soul, sent me into a frenzy over this weekend. I am so unprepared to go out into the big bad world all by myself. My Mother has taken me shopping and for the past few days i have cooked all my own meals, meaning i created from scratch not just cereal or a pop tart. The worst part is leaving everybody. Jake. It's going to be hard.
Despite the obvious stresses i don't think i have ever been so happy or fit in in my life before. I am scared to tell my friends this because it almost seems too good to be true. Not to brag, but I'm losing weight like crazy because I'm exercising and not eating junk food. Abs of steal here i go.
Someone decided i needed a lift and wrote a very nice paragraph about me. I liked that. Its nice to know people notice me. I don't know what it is about my personality, but words seem to wrap me in an embrace that is never really expressed through my own language because i am so undereducated.
My last thing i want to touch bace on, i have been finding myself again. I am so sick of letting people make me feel inferior. I have stuff to offer. I am important and man am i a great creation that God made. I need to get that in my head, God doesn't make junk.
*~~~*
Jake is all i could ever ask for in a best friend. He is more loyal than my dog and even though i would never tell him to his face i trust him with absolutely everything and with him the knot in my chest eases. Seeing as i am a type A personality i sometimes forget to live and only stress- he is fixing that. The empty, dark mass that was inside my soul is now somehow vanishing as i was holding onto it the whole time and i am just now forgetting to hold on to that pain. Yet it is different than any relationship I've ever been in. I can breathe. Have time to be away and be myself knowing that he is thinking about me and i him. Codependent no more.
My friends, awe my friends!! As i change and develop i find my role model to be more like Katniss, hence me actually getting on and writing in my blog for the first time in three months. I keep thinking that the group will easily forget i exist when i leave for college. I don't like that.
COLLEGE!! My dear cousin Ginny, bless her soul, sent me into a frenzy over this weekend. I am so unprepared to go out into the big bad world all by myself. My Mother has taken me shopping and for the past few days i have cooked all my own meals, meaning i created from scratch not just cereal or a pop tart. The worst part is leaving everybody. Jake. It's going to be hard.
Despite the obvious stresses i don't think i have ever been so happy or fit in in my life before. I am scared to tell my friends this because it almost seems too good to be true. Not to brag, but I'm losing weight like crazy because I'm exercising and not eating junk food. Abs of steal here i go.
Someone decided i needed a lift and wrote a very nice paragraph about me. I liked that. Its nice to know people notice me. I don't know what it is about my personality, but words seem to wrap me in an embrace that is never really expressed through my own language because i am so undereducated.
My last thing i want to touch bace on, i have been finding myself again. I am so sick of letting people make me feel inferior. I have stuff to offer. I am important and man am i a great creation that God made. I need to get that in my head, God doesn't make junk.
*~~~*
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